Sunlight

I know I have to keep this...

Sometimes in order to help,
He makes us miserable;
but heartache for His sake brings happiness.

Laughter will come after tears.

Whoever foresees this is a servant blessed by God.
Wherever water flows, life flourishes:
Wherever tears fall, divine mercy is shown.

Mathnawi I,817

Revelation

I was in Wonderland. Then this was revealed to me. It answered my wondering thoughts of..had the Prophet ever encountered anger in his life? The excerpt was after the Battle of Uhud..

The Prophet now led his Companions down into the plain. Harith ibn as-Simmah had been sent on ahead to look for the body of Hamzah, but when he found him, he was so appalled at the sight and having to tell the Prophet that he did not at once return, and 'Ali was sent after him. He found Harith standing aghast by the mutilated body, and they both returned together.

When the Prophet saw what had been done he said:

"Never yet have I felt more anger than now I feel; and when next God giveth me a victory over Quraysh I will mutilate thirty of their dead."

But soon after this there came the Revelation:
"If ye inflict punishment, then inflict only so much as ye have suffered; but if ye endure patiently, that is better for the patient."

And not only did he not fulfill his threat, but he expressly forbade mutilation after every battle. Moreover, as regards the fighting itself, he told them to respect the human face as being the most godlike part of the body: "When one of you striketh a blow, let him avoid striking the face...for God created Adam in His image."

Muhammad - his life based on the earliest source

Matin Lings

Ros.R snaps out from Wonderland

P.S...There is something else I believe..the incident above has nothing got to do about highlighting the imperfection of the character of a man whom Allah educates and protects. However the incident would be a cause for the Revelation which acts as guidance for his Ummah when we found ourselves to be in an alike state.

Acrostic Poem

This poem has been with me for near to 10 year. I have kept it well.
You may not be reading this. Nevertheless, thank you for writing it for me..

Rezeki adalah harapan tiap insan

Onak dan ranjau sekadar dugaan

Setiap ada kemahuan di situ ada jalan

Liku-liku kehidupan tetap diteruskan

Iman yang teguh menjadi pegangan

Nafsu dan riak wajib dilepaskan

Azam dan doa itulah harap

Mawardewi in poetry

Sincerity

It all started when one of the babies commented eagerly that she was demanding Babies' Day present from me in return for the present she had gotten for me. The rest of the babies supported her with cheers and nods.

Thats when I had the urge to introduce the learning point on Sincerity to the babies. I told them that Sincerity in giving was when one gave, he did not expect to receive anything in return. He gave right from his heart. I could see the disappointed look in their eyes cause they certainly love accepting presents. But its something they need to know.

The topic on Sincerity brought me thinking about being a gracious society. Its my ideal dream for the babies whom have gone through my hands would carry some kind of graciousness in them. Sad but its true, 'Gracious' is a lonely word. For kids, they have to be introduced to the idea hoping in time to come, being gracious will be a part of them. Sadly down here, the need to be a gracious society in the adults have to come in as reminders.

There is something in common about sincerity and graciousness, both have to come truly from the heart. On a personal basis, sometimes we would feel unfairly treated if kind acts shown were not responded by kindness. Or in time when love given was not responded by love, it could lead to frustrations and disappointment. Then again I reflect...was whats given, may it be objects, kind acts or love...were they really given out of sincerity?

I have come to conclude that I am not fit to judge. Its between they and Him. I am always thankful to know that there is/was the light of Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim shed in the heart of others for me.

Its the same light which I am yearning for from Him throughout my life and in the lives of my love ones..may it be here or there after.

Ros.R's 1st day back at @ work

Upin and Ipin Episode 1-6

Apart from dimples, I love twins and these twins make me smile..Upin and Ipin are cute and adorable.

ESOK PUASA


DUGAAN


NIKMAT


TERAWIH


HARI RAYA

Kata Mawar Diskriminasi Idea, Kata Suluk Persekutuan Kepercayaan

Here is something I wrote years back about misunderstanding when the mind is flushed with discrimination. Suluk translated it in his own word for a deeper reflection. I didn't get the chance to ask for Suluk's permission to place his words here cause he seems to be out of reached now. Nevertheless, I hope he would give his consent.

extracted from:
http://www.angelfire.com/journal/suluk/kataku.html

DISKRIMINASI IDEA
PERSEKUTUAN KEPERCAYAAN
Kata Mawardewi;

Salah anggap
Salah langkah
Diskriminasi idea
Mengkaburi perkara yang nyata

Kata Suluk

Keliru
Tertambat
Persekutuan kepercayaan(Syirik)
Menghijabkan perkara yang Haq

Kata Mawardewi;

Fahami dengan teliti
Sebelum tersalah panah lagi
Selami sedalam yang mungkin
Sebelum memalukan dirimu sendiri

Kata Suluk

Syuhudkan pada Wahdah
Sebelum tersalah arah pandangan
Selamilah di dalam laut Zauk dan Wujdan
Sebelum mengatakan sesuatu yang tidak Haq

Kata Mawardewi;

Jangan terburu-buru
Di dalam mengemukakan hujjahmu
Leraikan apa yang ada di minda
Hanya setelah engkau meneroka
Segala perkara dari setiap penjuru
Yang disuluh menggunakan mata hatimu

Kata Suluk

Jangan cepat melatah
Di dalam memaksudkan kebenaran
Susun aturkan cahaya makrifat yang berlapis-lapis itu
Hanya setelah tebaran cahayanya genap melingkupi alam
Segala sesuatu dari setiap sudut tempat tegak
Yang disimbah menggunakan Ladunimu

Kata Mawardewi;

Mempelajari dari pengalaman silam,
Dapat meraih manfaat pada diri
Tapi jangan diambil dari yang silam
Untuk diukir tanggapan tidak berganjak
Diaggungkan pula dalam minda yang tidak terasah

Kataku

Berikitbar dari Alastubirabbikum........
Dapat mengembalikan keistimewaan diri
Tapi jangan diambil dari A'yan Sabitah
Untuk menzhohirkan fahaman yang jumud
Diagungkan pula i'tiqad yang tumpul berkarat

Kata Mawardewi;

Jika itu yang diperlakukan
Di dalam kotak akalmu
Terukirlah ia sebagai diskriminasi idea
Yang akan semangkin menumpulkan akal fikiran
Membawa padah dengan menutupi
Setiap ruang harapan yang ada.

Kata Suluk

Jika itu dipegangi
Di dalam fikiranmu yang terbatas
Zhohirlah ia sebagai persekutuan kepercayaan(Syirik)
Yang akan menumpulkan pandangan Ainul Basyirah
Membinasakan diri dengan menutupi
Mahiyah yang sabit

Kata Mawardewi;

Di depan cermin engkau berdiri,
Perlihatkan kepadaku
Mindamu tidak kesempitan
Kemaskan segala pendapatmu
Hindarkan terdengarnya ketawa sinis
Dari mereka yang hanya menunggu kesempatan
Untuk menikam kekurangan dirimu dari belakang

Kata Suluk

Di hadapan alam itu kesaksianmu
Nyatakan kepada dirimu
Ruhmu tidak di luar dan tidak di dalam
Sempurnakan Haq Musyahadahmu
Hindarkan tawa hilau yang membujuk
Dari syaitan dan iblis laknatullah
Untuk menyesatkanmu dari memandang zhohirnya sesuatu

Ros.R in poetry

What have been achieved?

I flipped through my notebook. Its the first notebook I ever used to write down what Obek taught. The date was 12th May '02. I was 26 then. It has been 6 years now. I asked myself what have I achieved? I remember he told me if someone would have studied in any Uni, for that long period of time, he would have achieved his Masters or even Doctorate of something.

As I reflect upon myself, what have I achieved? In that 6 years, lots of things happened. I want to be the same innocent girl I was when I was 26. Along the years there were people I met. Some of them blurred my vision, some others indirectly strengthen me.

It has been 6 years now. One thing I know my 'Play' is not over yet. I want strive for my 'Play' to be over. Only when its over, there come victory. When that time arrives, I know my heart will be fluttering again, this time its forever...and I would feel free and unbounded..whats left would just be waiting and counting my days, smiling..

May He guide me and my love ones, May He shield us from any impurities. For He is the best protection for us.

Only the self can help thyself....focus, purify, suppress, raised


Ros.R outz in silence..

Months of Blessings

The month of Rejab..the month for taubat, the month of Allah. I was caught off guard when HE granted my prayer and those who are praying for me..Subhannallah...

Now its the month of Syaa'ban..the month for muhibbah, the month of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. For the 2nd time, I get to meet another of prophet's descendant:D. I have seen his face on the picture. Last week was my first time to see him face to face. Its the same light I saw he emitted. Its not his attire or turban or beard which captured me.. its in his face. There is no doubt in his words. All the words he said is true...every single one of it. And he has a sense of humor too...something which I did not expect to discover...:)

Its was also my first time to come across a bai'ah. I had vague knowledge what bai'ah is. Instead of peace after the session, I felt restless. I want to know what it is for sure. The only one who has an assured answer for me is him. He told me that bai'ah is the acceptance of knowledge from the Sheikh to the person he transfered his knowledge to. He encourages me to proceed with seeking the knowledge. When I got his permission, my worries + uncertainty vanished! For a day, I felt I was not earthly bounded. Its been ages since my heart feels so freeeeeeeeee and light. I could even feel it fluttering among the clouds. It was really an indescribable feeling which only those whom have tasted that moment would understand.

It was raining lightly in Geylang yesterday morning but I experienced a flood on my seat. Prophet's love is too overwhelming surrounding us...just too overwhelming to describe. May Allah guides me for whats in my heart....Let it only HE and myself know whats this heart been yearning for...

The Supplication - Sami Yusuf

Ramadhan..the month for reaping what we have worked for through these years...Its OUR month. Its the month where in it hidden a gift which Allah granted especially for the Prophet's ummah. Year after year we waited to obtain that gift on that night where the angels descended from the sky, commanded to visit each home to bestow the gift Allah has promised only for the deserving.....Year after year it has passed and now it is visiting us again in less than a week.

Ros.R wants to feel her heart flutters again..heartz fluttering check 5/10

The Brain and Learning

The greatest gift which distinguishes the human and the animal is the mind. Activities in the mind is processed in the brain. The brain appears to look like a walnut to me. It always interest me to know more about the human brain and how it works. My first non fiction book has got something to do with making use of the fullest potential of the brain. By understanding the human brain, it can aid my little clients better in their learning.

Some facts about the Human Brain.

• Brain weighs 3 pounds
• Brain pays conscious attention 1 at a time
• Brain needs time to think
• Brain thinks in chunks hence there is a need to make connection
• Brain remembers best that which comes first and second best that which comes last
• Brain remembers well after repetition 3 times...repetition enhances memory retention
• Brain learns best when it is not in high stress
• Brain learns best when they are actively engaged
• Brain learns best when facts and skills are related to life experiences
• The one who talks more grows more dendrites in the brain..talking helps in memory.
• Attention span of the brain is approximately equal to a person's age..20 mins is the maximum time to engage the brain
• Emotions gives an impact to the brain
• 7 is the average number of facts/activities which the adult brain can hold

Some brain-compatible lessons

• Writing - helps to organise the things in the brain
• Visual - visual content leaves greater impact for children
• Discussion - talking grows more dendrites in the brain
• Humour - laughter puts the brain in positive state which promotes learning
• Use of manipulatives - engages the brain
• Graphic organizer - helps the brain to make connections of information learnt

Ros.R's sanity check..1/10...need to grow more dendrites

Spiritual

I sat in the same table with them. They were talking things beyond spirituality. Most of the time, I just listen. I don't usually like to talk much..I listened and silently prayed. HE has enlightened me. I want to continue to be enlightened..without any doubt. There are some parallel thoughts to what they believe and to what I am learning. The knowledge they have is part of the truth which Allah has enlightened them. But there is something which sets us apart.

To them, religion is just a name confined by rules. They believe in breaking the rules. In doing so, they believe that the law of marginal utility will set in somewhere and the lower nafs will be erased in the long run. But I know it too well that my favourite law of marginal utility doesn't work for this. I know it far too well that if one is not careful, giving in will only cause vicious cycle of addictions.

HE is the All Mighty...For a man is helpless without what HE has gifted him. For nothing is to happend if HE did not allow it to happen.

All of a sudden, my heart cries! I want to be out. I want to run home to Obek and Mom. That is where the real truth lies. As I made my way back, my heart seeks HIS protection.

Ros.R recites dua kalimah syahadah

The Moon & Syaa'ban

Its the 10th of Syaa'ban today. How time flies..again. I gazed at the moon. It is no longer a crescent. Its already half way to full. I love gazing at the moon. Sometimes, I saw the face of a lady smiling down to Earth. Then I smiled back at her..=). When its low and full, it reminds me of the large bulb street lamp emitting light in the park. Most of the time, I wish I can reach out for the moon and rest it on my palm. I would touch it lightly and then it would drift back up in the sky.

I can be gazing at the sky for hours. Speechless. For I cannot describe what there is up there in words. I remembered my first plane ride. As I looked out of the window. I saw the clouds. It looked like there is a kingdom of its own up there in the sky. I just go speechless again but the heart is not.

In the book mom bought for me it says...

Rejab bulan menabur benih
Syaaban bulan menyiram tanaman
Ramadhan bulan menuai

Rejab menyucikan badannya
Syaaban menyucikan hatinya
Ramadhan menyucikan rohnya

Rejab bulan menghfirah keamapunan
Syaaban bulan syafaa
Ramadhan bulan menggandakan kebajikan

Rejab bulan taubat
Syaaban bulan muhibbah
Ramadhan bulan dilimpahi pahala amalan seperti hujan mencurah

Through those words, there is more hidden then whats just written for the heart which seeks.

Ros.R counting down to 15th Syaaban

Smelling-licious today

After done with the laundry and toilet cleaning, I need to smell EXTRA good.

Its the art of body pampering and Smelling-licious..

Shampoo and Conditioner : Giovanni Organic Hair Care..with rosemary and lavender extract.

Hair Moisturiser: Nexus Y Serum, Mirabella Lotion

Body Scrub: Pradasari Scrub with Rose extract

Body Mask : Body Shop SPA Wisdom body mask with purifying greanium and grapefruit essential oils.

Face Scrub: Clinique 7 Day Scrub Rinse-Off Formula

Face Mask: Clinique Turnaround 15-min facial

Body Lotion: Citra Lasting White Extract with pearls

Body perfume: HUGO BOSS alcohol-free scent

Next in the list is - Project Lavender Curtain which I plan to complete in 2 days. Oh....how I love to stay away from work...=D

Ros.R smelling yummy-licious

Reread

I have been reading again. It used to be a skeptical move to pick up an Islamic book in English as I am more comfortable to read it in my own language. However after reading Iman Al-Haddad's book in "The Lives of Man", I am ready to pick up another book in English. Decided to revisit "Heart, Self & Soul" for the book act as a reminder to me to remain in my life track. Next in my list is the book which Sheykh Khalil Moore used in his seminar.."The Two Treatises : Mutual Reminding and Good Manners". I am able to get connected with the words from the book. For sure, this will be another book which I will be pasting post tabs to remind me of the important reminders written. It will be another book filled with scribble notes of my own. Life long learning need not be confined to increasing economic growth. Life long learning in the spiritual aspect is more important to me..one way is to read and to have someone knowledgeable to refer to for anything unclear during the read.

I will revisit the scripts which Obek handed in to me. I remember what he said and I will hold on to those words. Keep that believe unshaken, revise on whats been taught, reflects, communicates, seek and I shall find. For "the beginning of the path is a powerful urge of divine origin needs to be strengthen, protected and responded to"

Jelauddin Rumi says...

Hear from the heart worldless mysteries!
Understand what cannot be understood!
In man's stone-dark heart there burns a fire
When the veils are burned away, the heart will understand completely...
Ancient Love will unfold ever-fresh forms
In the heart of the Spirit in the core of the heart.

Then again, the cleansing starts from the heart even before we are to seek who we are to begin on our path.

Ros.R high-5s all the bookworms

Revival

Revive yourself
For too much time has been spent idling.
Each idle second
Push you away from what the heart desires.
For those whom idle
Are missing out BIG time in life!
Revive!
Revive!
Revive...oh idling body to revive that idling soul!

Fight!Fight!Fight!
For eternal victory and happiness.

Ros.r' s revival

Dawn Prayer

The dawn is breaking. My head is thumping. I woke up with a linger of sad feeling. May Allah forgives me for a feeling I can't even feel. May He guides me for all the things that I do. May He forgives those who has dissatisfaction of me. May He eraseS the syaitans' whispers which cause the heart and the mind to speak in uncertainty. May He lays His mercy in me. For Allah does what He wishes and how He wishes it would be...for He is all the knowledgeable. May He helps me cleanse my soul for my soul to be always with be Him. May He gazes upon me with mercy. May He helps to strengthen my faith. May He forgives those whom are dear to me. May He be pleased with me and the people whom are dear to me...like how He is please with Prophet Muhammaw s.a.w. . Praises only for The All Mighty..

Easing the troubled heart...Ros and Surah Ar-Rahman

Lingering Thoughts

I have wanted to blog in something eversince the first lecture by Sheykh Khalil Moore. However the words didn't really flow. And so I waited...

I am glad that I have made the effort to listen to his talks. Now, after it ended, time to reflect so that the knowledge passed do not go unrecognised. I know whats need to be done. Especially now that its the sacred month of Rejab...its a valued opportunity not to be missed.

There is so much to be penned but the thoughts just linger in the mind haphazadly.. As for now, I can't continue writing. My thoughts are not flowing right...till next time when there is more to say straight from the heart.

Ros signing off...do whats needs to be done.

Ferhad live - Pernah

Thats him...he has that familiar look... originated from Singapore.. a father of 1 son, he made a mark on his name in the neighbouring country. One of the celebrities who has the least gossip by the media about his personal life. And that....thats my favourite Ferhad's song. I don't usually buy CDs, but this time am getting his latest album which he dedicates to his family...how sweet can that be:)

Ros.r is feeling musical

This is it

So this is it. I took the big final step not to look behind. I made my decision for others to be happy with the people important to them...cause I know I am not important in their lives. Deleted all histories and may HE helps me erase the history in the mind too. I have to keep the faith...why Allah did not agree for situation to turn the way I wish it would be. HE knows best..not me.
Or maybe its HIS sign for me to work harder to uncover the hijab so that there is no hindrance for me to reach to HIM? That is possible too...and I know is the real reason for it all. There are alot of things which the self has enlighten but at times its just us who try to rationalise it and brush things aside to fit how we want it to be. My self tells me that I have to work hard. Don't give up as long as HE gives my soul another chance to come back to my bod for each new day.

Sacrifice is sweet to the taste when you know people dear to you are happy with what they have.

Ros keeping the peace within herself and with others dear in her life

Gentleness in the heart

The heart....some says the heart is the hardest part of the human body. Thats the raw heart which when thrown in the den, the lions would consume hungrily. But one says..the heart is actually the gentlest part of the a human body.

The heart which did not want to wake the cat although it was sleeping on his turban.

Its the heart which gives the benefit of the doubt for others' goodness cause he knows he is unable to give a fair judgement of the person.

Its the heart who willingly donates a 'fatheha' for the souls it doesn't recognise.

Its the heart which is full with compassion. A compassion not only for the humans but to all living things, even the ant which bit his finger.

Its the heart which is satisfied and thankful for what ones has although its just sufficient to fit the basic.

Its the heart which overcomes self-ego cause he knows a powerless servant is not fit to be proud of what is lent to him in the name of Ar-rahman and Ar-rahim.

Its the heart which emits light from within...just like the heart of our Rasullulah s.a.w.

Do not be quick to judge that being adamant of ones decision shows the stubborness of the heart. 'Cause you do not know what the others have been enlighten of in their decisions.

When the conscious pricks and feels ashame for what was hidden inside the heart, make a bow and seek for forgiveness to the One and Only. For He will show the way and only He can help you erase that black spot which has tarnished the heart fit for only the divine love.

Ros.R's reflection and self reminder

Sssscrap

Picked up a new hobby. Have not got started but I don't think I will get addicted to it. Just something for the creative juices to flow. We will see how it goes..

Pink pink pink all the way. Still in love with candy bar pink from NK 7360. Obsolete model and functions but when you are in love, it takes a longggg longggg while to replace whats in the heart.

Lamour Rose Outz...

The Dark Side

Before the existance of blog, there is the homepage I kept in the form of e-diary. I remembered those pages today.

Then...they reflect me 8 years back.

Now... status remains, aim becomes blurred and innocence gets corroded.

She needs help and only self can help me.

Ros unveils 5 masks from the The Dark Side...

Life Reflection

How time past by my life and I did not even noticed. Thats how time is nowadays nearing to its end. If I could turn back time, I would go back to my years in college, in Uni and do things differently. Nevertheless, I have to be thankful for where I am in now and only Allah knows the hikmah for not having things the way I would want it to be changed. I have yet to identify and see the hikmah of it all. Still waiting to see it all...

Goshhhhhhhhh, I miss studying! I am glad to be off loaded from exams when I see the kids mugging for them. Nevertheless, I miss all those lectures, those tutorials, those research and long nights of studying. But if I am to study now, what will it be? How am I to put it into practice in time to come? I see studying now in more than just for passing exam. Its objective and practical side has to be crystal clear before I get myself committed.

Maybe need not be studying formally. Studying new skills do make my heart beat a little bit faster. I am done with driving. Maybe scrapbooking would be the next ideal one. Anyway, I would need to pay around 50% of its course fee. It is still worth the try. After mastering the skill comes the challenge. Its challenge is not how to put those pretty collage and get my fingers smeared with glue or pocket got burnt spending on those pretty papers and ribbons.. Its challenge comes in balancing life purpose.

We are alive for a purpose. There is the superficial and non superficial side of our mission on Earth. The superficial side is more into achieving worldly dreams which will shatter once the soul departed from the body. There is the more in depth side about life. I have been enlightened. Its now a challenge or rather a jihad against myself to attain my real purpose for being given a breather.

It has been a long 10 years though. I have watched my innocent-self changed. For all that has happened, there are some within my control. Allah has spoken to me through the people I have met...Alhamdullilah He has spoken to me through my heart and mind.

It has never cross my mind that I am a serious person. However, now, I am more than certain that I am indeed of such. There is a lighter side of me but it resufaces itself once a while. The lighter side of me surfaces itself in those no worries days especially during school days. Maybe its someone who can make me laugh is what I need.

Obek says keep the faith. Its not as easy as its sound, thrust me. But I know that is the key to happiness. I have to persevere...and that is a jihad.

On the lighter note...I enjoy the music video below. It makes me :) and gets me connected to my lighter-self.

Buzzzz....Ros is tapping her feet..lighter note check : 7.5/10

Body Mind Heart and Soul

I came across this from a site. Its Shaykh Muhammad Imran's words...

The body and heart are pure and blameless in themselves.

However, when our heart becomes embodied with worldly temptations, we tend to forget the nature of our hearts. Thus, we become attached to this world and develop spiritual diseases such as greed, lust and pride.

These spiritual diseases show us the ugly attributes of the heart like thorns growing in a field.

In order to beautify yourselves, avoid these attributes and implement finer qualities which will bring you closer to Allah Ta’ala such as kind heartedness, humbleness and gratitude.

Every person yearns for a meaning to life and for that which will make his heart sound.

The only way to do this is to purify one’s self.

- Shaykh Muhammad Imran

To purify one's self starts from the heart. The heart which contain worldly desires, temptation, having bad opinion on others, hate, ego etc has to be bleached with zirk before the black spots at its bottom get erased completely.

At the perk of each zirk comes a test. A test which can come in any unthinkable form. A test which either remain us at the perk or higher, keep us stationary or a failed test which toppled our status from where we are. When there is unlawful submission to worldly desires, more and more black spots emerged, the more distance the heart gets from its Creator and all the zirk done leads one to no where. The jihad against self has failed.

Personally, to me jihad in my life is to get those black spot erased. Only when they are erased, Nurr can emerged from within. To look at a person who has been embodied with nurr makes the heart feels at ease. Only then the mind, the heart and the soul are at peace with each other. The purest love, which is more then just a feeling but also submission of the heart, will be able to overcome obstacles. Sacrifices then come sweet to the taste.

Ros.R drowned in verses of love