Recognising

Recognising life starts after my graduation. Thats when I recognise the world is a stage for actors and how pain feels. As far back as 2000, I have been recognising pain. How it feels and how much it has pierced. It has been a second nature to me by now. Happiness does not come from the pretty accessories Earth has to offer. Back last month, it struck me hard that all the pretty materials I owe do not mean much to me as compared to the blessings I get from God himself, my parents and obek. The basic necessities are just what I need. I have seen that yearning more for materials than whats necessary blurred the nurr residing in the heart. The only speck of happiness I feel comes from unconditional love. Its showered by them.

Right now, I need to listen closely. Tunes playing are not merry. Do I continue to listen to hope or listen to the signs? I am torn. Many a time, I have betrayed the self for the sake of listening to hope. Things often ended up lousy. Fools are those who refused to follow for what has been showed to them. I did not know where to put my expectations. Its best to leave it to Him and also to accept with an open heart. All best decision lies in His hands.

Right now, I pray..I don't have to feel that familiar piercing pain striking through the heart again. Its painful right through the core.

Ya Habibi La